My Child has ADHD. What can I do?

Children look to their parents for guidance, even if they don’t always ask for it. Many times children can’t deal with their own problems by themselves and this is where parents come in. If you are a parent, then your child needs you. It is un-realistic to expect a child to be able to overcome his or her own problems alone, even if he or she has medication that is supposed to “fix” the problems.

The most important thing a parent can do for a child with ADHD is the same thing that any parent should do. Love your child like there is no tomorrow. It’s obvious you already love your child or you wouldn’t be reading this. But it is important for your kid to know that you will do anything you can to help and that he or she is not alone in this dilemma. People have more individual will-power when they know that someone else is behind them one-hundred percent.

As a parent, it is always a good idea to let your child know all of the things that you know about ADHD. Explain to your child that there is nothing wrong with him or her but on the same token, make sure your child understands that ADHD doesn’t make it ok to act-up in class. If a child feels that he or she has a “get out of jail free” card because of an ADHD diagnosis then that child will use it to his or her advantage. Make sure you keep a balance between making them feel good about themselves and making them understand that they can’t just do whatever they want because they have ADHD. Remember, ADHD doesn’t make people do anything, it makes doing some things difficult. The individual still has basic self control.

Balance is very important to maintain when you’re dealing with ADHD. Letting children get away with something they shouldn’t be doing is setting the stage for additional behavioral infractions. At the same time, making a child feel bad about him or herself can lead to severe depression. While this sounds like a narrow road to travel, once you understand how your child reacts to certain parenting techniques it will be easier for you to decide which techniques to implement.

O.k.… so what can I do?

If you get a note from the teacher about class disruption…

Read the note to your kid. Communicate with the child and make it clear that there will be consequences if things don’t change. You don’t have to be angry to get your point across but the child must understand that it’s not o.k. to disrupt class. Talk to your child’s teachers and find out exactly what it is that he or she is doing that is creating the problem.

The best way, for example, to reach a person with ADHD is to, whenever the child blurts something out, immediately bring it to his or her attention. Repetition is good for ADHD. Eventually after 15 or 20 times of being immediately corrected the child will likely remember not to blurt out. Many times the child doesn’t even realize that he or she is actually causing a disturbance so the two key words here are “immediately” and “consistently.” To immediately and consistently correct the child when he or she blurts out or interrupts is the most effective way of improving the symptoms without the interference of suppression medication.

If your child is getting bad grades……

School is a large problem for children with ADHD. Just about every symptom of ADHD directly affects a child’s performance at school. Inattention can cause a child to miss instructions on an important assignment or not hear an explanation of a problem that they might need for a test. Impulsiveness can cause a child to talk out of turn or interrupt another student. Hyperactivity can cause a child to get in trouble and have to be separated from his or her classmates so that everyone else can learn. There are many small steps that you can take that will not fix the problem completely but they should slowly increase the child’s performance in school.

Steps to take

1. Arrange for your child to sit in the front of the class.
2. Make an assignment book for your child that he or she must have signed by the teacher everyday.
3. Set aside a specific time everyday for your child to do his/her homework and study.
4. Sing the child’s praises if he/she does a good job and shows progress.
5. Constantly keep track of your child’s progress in school with respect to performance and behavior.
6. BE CONSISTENT. If you stick with these tips then you will have a good chance at seeing progress. You must be an unwavering and positive example for your child. You must make it clear that improvement can happen and that it must happen. Be loving, but don’t be too soft. Teach self-responsibility but don’t tear your child down. Your child must understand that it is not your job to make good grades; it is his/her job. Your child must also know that you are there for him/her and that you care about his/her feelings.

Being determined and consistent are your best bets in overcoming ADHD. Being erratic in parental judgments can only confuse a child and create instability in their daily routines.

Author: Kurt Robinson